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Adulting is a Scam!

I must warn you before you begin reading this post that there’s going to be a lot of ‘adult-ing’ content so readers ‘discretion’ is advised. 

One day, not so long ago, just when I was a little content with everything around me, my phone started to ring. It was a friend of mine who is currently 25 years old. I know it is weird that I am specifying the age here, but you’ll know exactly why in the next line.

As usual, I ask him about his whereabouts and when the topic of dating comes up, he casually says,’Ummm, I’m actually seeing someone older. She is an elderly woman.’ To which I say, “Oh please..age is just a number dude. It doesn’t matter if it is real. Btw, how old is she?” 

He says she is 31. :/ :/ :/ :/ :/ Thirty-fucking-One. 31!!! 

AND

That is when it hit me. Omg, I now fall under the old women category. I was happy right before this conversation and this changed everything for me. I will be 30 in the next 6 months and I realised kids like these are going to call me f*c*ing ‘older’ and that I am already an ADULT. 

On a serious note though, being in 30s is considered old now????  30 is not old, right? 

Adulting …wwhooooo what a ride. All you young-ian’s in your 20s, here’s a secret I’ll let you in on..NOBODY has figured it out. Adulting is weird and it comes with its own pros and cons.

Yes, you enjoy all that freedom but you also find yourself alone most of the time. So, you learn to enjoy your own company. You learn to party with yourself. Speaking of which..the other day, when I was partying with myself, I noticed this line that Jason Derulo sings in ‘Jalebi Baby’. It goes…liquor and the money ain’t the only thing I chase now. 


Ok Jason!! We get it. You are 32, rich and famous now, but you don’t have to make ALL of us feel bad. 

What is adulting if not chasing money and trying to get drunk without a hangover? 

I am confused right now because I have published my own book, married, bought a house and have a job that I love and I’m not even 30 yet. I went by the book and did what “they” said, but is this all there is to it? Was this it? 

The lyrics of ‘Comfortably Numb’ finally started to make sense to me, so I thought I had it figured out. I wanted to tell everyone, ‘You know what, adulting is not tough.’ You just have to balance everything, your likes, their likes, your  interests, your health, your job, your family and you are good to go and as I was basking in this glorious mirage, universe played its card and bam!!! 

Universe was like, hold on babe, you think you have it figured out at 29, here you go and BAM! I was forced to grieve the loss of loved ones all in a span of 4 months; all the while being broke because hello, buying a house anywhere = going broke af. lol. So much for figuring it all out. 

Adulting is realising that you will always want more money, more sex, more happiness and more positivity all the time but but but also NOT having time for any of it. You are busy doing life. 😀 

I personally feel like when you are an adult, life teaches you how to compromise and fake stuff so much that you no longer realize what it is that you actually wanted in the first place. You change as a person every fucking year. You are a different version of yourself every fucking year. 

You have no idea if you should vibe to the fu**ing amazing 90s tip tip barsa pani and drool at Raveena’s performance or if you should appreciate that Katrina did a good job too and nobody else in the industry could do justice to that song other than her. You also don’t get how everybody else is jamming to the latest TikTok songs but you are still vibing to hyderabadi marfa dj remix. 😛 

MARFA!!

When you feel  like you are an adult, you do realize that your ex/s was/were a shit show and that you deserved better. 

You are happy one minute but the next you have to worry about paying bills, taxes, work out for a better body, mindfulness, reading, writing, work stuff, hobbies, happy hours, catch up on netflix shows, meet up with friends, drink enough water, be updated on news, clean your house, enjoy life (whatever that means) AND carve out family time..all the while hoping you remember to live life on YOUR terms. Does that make sense?  

I know it doesn’t and god help all those who have children. 😛 I cannot for the life of me figure out how to feed myself 3 proper meals, let alone keep another human alive. 

As an independent ‘adult-ish’ woman, I relate so much to that meme that says I kinda want to be independent on some days but on some odd days I really feel like I could have been so much better as a trophy wife. You know what I mean.. 😛 

I am supposed to be an adult but I have no clue if I should wear 90s flared jeans now or stick to the millennial ankle skinny jeans. I don’t know if bathroom selfies are acceptable or if I am too old for it. I am torn between the middle part and the side part debate.. Was the crop top thing really a phase? Do I really have to go back and remind myself how ‘old’ I am? Are you really going to judge me if I say I like Cardi B and Meghan The Stallion? 

Also, continuing the rant, what is it with these hot moms?? OMG! I can’t even!!! People usually come up to me and say..you don’t have to workout, you are already skinny. Eat stuff and enjoy life.. Ummmm excuse me, a) I’m not skinny. I have my own insecurities and b) Do you have any idea how much I spend on my gym membership? I workout so that I can enjoy my beer, my wine and my biryani without having to worry about calories later. AND yes, maintaining a healthy lifestyle is not easy, but you have to do it because you would then be considered an ‘elderly woman’ 😀 Now, don’t even get me started on the grey hair. 

Now that’s more like me…

I honestly hope most of you reading this could relate, but if you couldn’t then there’s only one thing I have to say to you.

Adulting is a scam 😀 Don’t rush.. Enjoy that fast-early-20s metabolism and that energy. Fall in love, commit mistakes and learn from them but please don’t rush to grow up or to be an adult. 🙂 

-Sheekha Singh.

(Your ‘elderly-woman’ friend :P)

Sheekha Singh

4 thoughts on “Adulting is a Scam!

      1. Hahhaahahahaha..,nicely put….it’s true ..but I choose to remain young while adulting in the same time😂🤣😂😂🥳

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