Judge, Nudge & Fudge

June 2004. I was told that our classes were shuffled and I was now moved to class 7 section ‘B’.  There was a rumour in the school, that the class teacher of 7B is super strict and doesn’t spare anyone. She was known for wearing sleeveless blouses (which now I think was classy). My teacher walked in the classroom first day and after 45 minutes, I decided I was going to change my section by any means.

I had decided to change my class based on 45 minutes and the rumours about my teacher. The same teacher who taught me the most important lesson in my life. She taught me something that I haven’t forgotten till date. When it came to her knowledge that I didn’t want to be in her class, she took me out and asked me why. I told her what I had heard. She held my hand and said, “Remember this child, don’t judge a book by its cover.” I looked at her, scared and confused. I was scared because I thought she wouldn’t spare me now and I was confused because I didn’t know what ‘judging a book’ meant. I just knew the judge that sits in the courtroom. (Childhood was awesome. Nothing was complicated. Sigh.)

 Anyway, she later explained the term to the entire class and as she gave an example, I realised what I had done. I am 25 today and you should know that I can’t thank her enough for teaching me this when I was 11.

I now wish, every person on this planet had a teacher like her when they first started judging people. Look around you, there are at least 20 people who walk by, every day and you just do one thing. You judge them. You judge them based on how they look, how they dress up and what they do. You judge them without knowing what they are going through. You judge them, give them labels and sometimes mock them. Have you ever noticed how passing a judgement seems so easy when someone walks in that door? I know judging is free. You judged that girl who had tattoos. You judged that guy who slept at his desk every day and remember what you thought of that girl who was married and pregnant by 20?

Here is the thing that I despise the most, people judge you if you are fit to get married just by your paycheck and your appearance. This is exactly why I hate the ‘arranged marriage’ world. You arrange futures by judging. On the contrary, aunties and uncles who hog on free stuff at weddings, feel it is their birthright to judge everyone except their son and their daughter.

You judge people because you find it easy. You find comfort in doing so. You find the easy way out. You prefer to talk nonsense about someone without knowing the other person’s story. Just because that girl has 10 tattoos doesn’t mean she is wild, she might be hiding her scars. She might be hiding those cuts that remind her of the dreadful days when she slit her wrists or hurt herself for a boy. That guy who sleeps at his desk every day at work might be working at nights to help his family. That girl who you see having fun with 5 guys in the college canteen might just be enjoying a joke. It doesn’t mean she has been physically involved with all of them.  We make it a point to judge everyone.

You judge if someone gets married early, but you also judge someone if they aren’t married until 30. Why? What is even worse is that you judged a girl who was recently divorced. Why? Who set the rules? Who said 22-25 was the right age to get married? You judged the skinny girl and you judged the healthy girl who wore a short dress too.

Why?

Have you ever thought of taking a different route of knowing a person before you judged them? For once, take a different way and instead of nudging your friend beside you and judging someone, go talk to them and find out what their story is, because judging a person does not define who they are, it defines who you are.

I won’t say stop judging and having an opinion because that is utter crap and impractical. I am no saint. It is a human tendency to forget the lessons and to give in to the society. We judge what people do and we judge every action. Perspective is what matters the most. Learn to see things from other’s perspective. And by this, I mean, think before you judge. Think of all the stuff YOU have done and once you analyse who you are, you’ll try not to judge the person beside you 🙂

“If someone isn’t what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.” 
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

P.S: You must be wondering how does fudge fit into this…well, stop straining your brain, I just needed a word to rhyme, hence fudge 😉 😛 😛

InExAcT as always.
–Sheekha